Monthly Archives: September 2006

Normally, I’m a driver. I drive anywhere I want to go. Walk? don’t think so. Bike? Tires are flat right now. Run? Hi, have we met?

But today I had to go downtown and I didn’t know where I was going to park, so I thought, oh, I’ll take the C-Train.

First of all, the city of Calgary train system is so unprepared for the number of passengers they have. I live in Eversyde, within spitting distance of three train stops. Did I go to any of those? Nope, you gotta be there at 6.45am if you want a parking spot. So I drive five stops up and go to Anderson, which used to be the end of the line and has MONSTER sized parking. I got a spot, about a mile from the station (okay, okay, I’m exaggerating, but you get the idea). Then I stuff myself on the train with a gazillion other disgruntled downtown workers and we’re off.

Half way through the train ride, my arm, which is carrying my books is starting to twitch because the muscles are tired and sore. Do I switch arms? No, because I DON’T HAVE ROOM! It’s too crowded.

Then I walk the 6 blocks to where I was going.

I decide to leave at 3 so I will ‘beat the rush.’ HA! After just missing a southbound train, I wait 20 minutes (!) for the next one, at which point, I stuff myself back on the train for another ride. Despite the natural laws of physics, more and more people keep getting on the train which should be bulging at the sides at this point. And then, the high school kids. It’s so stuffed in there, and I’m standing so akwardly to keep from falling over that, (no joke) 7 of my toes fall asleep. And all I can think is, “Oh no! I’ll lose my balance! I can’t feel my feet (except the parts that hurt from standing). God it’s hot in here. What is that smell? Yuck! Someone is touching me, SOMEONE IS TOUCHING ME! SOMEONE’S HAIR IS TOUCHING ME!!”

What can I say? I’m squirrelly.

Then I had to trudge back to my car. I had to push the automatic starter and then perk my ears like a dog to ‘listen’ until I found it. Poor baby. Sandwhiched with a gagillion strange cars all day. And then I had to drive the rest of the way home.

Is this the best that modern civilization can muster? Sad.


Insert clever title here

I thought to myself the other day, ‘I’m gonna find a current issue and blog about it! I’m gonna read and and all the other .ca’s and find something I can really sink my literary teeth into.’

One of two things happened:
1. The world is boring as $#!T and I couldn’t find anything I thought was remotely worth blogging about.
2. I realized I am the most apathetic person in the world as I couldn’t find anything I wanted to blog about.

So which one is it? Is it that nothing good is going on? I mean frankly, who gives a crap about the majority of stuff you see on the news? Isn’t it all just the same $#!T different year? Insert “WORLD CRIMINAL” here and add on a little war-mongering and toss in some dumb politicians and you’ve got pretty much any year since the beginning of time.

Or is it that I just don’t care enough about world issues? I mean, I’m totally shallow and I know it. I don’t give a hoop about alot of what’s going on. It’s not like I can vote on what the government is doing (unless it’s election year). No one is interesting, no one is good looking. That’s why Hollywood is better at selling ideals than governments. We’ll always listen to attractive, interesting people like movie stars. Boring and ugly people show up and we think – “Why would I listen to you? I may end up like you! boring and ugly” And wouldn’t that be a fate worse than death? I think so too.


Seriously. We should all be so lucky.

When you just don’t get it.

So my mum told me that people have been killing stingrays to ‘avenge’ the death of beloved Crocodile Hunter Steve Irwin, himself killed by a stingray.

As my mum said, wasn’t this exactly what he spent his whole life championing against? Wasn ‘t it his mission to save as many animals as possible? To teach us about these creatures in the hopes that we would work to preserve all life?

So I think there are two things people aren’t getting here: 1. In trying to pay some kind of weird tribute to this man, you are going against the very things he was trying to teach us.
2. It’s not possible to take ‘revenge’ out on animals. The stingray that killed Steve Irwin is not going to feel really bad now that you’ve gone out and killed a bunch of its brethern. The stingray does not feel remorse for what it has done. The stingray did not kill Mr. Irwin out of malice or jealously or anger. Animals kill for one reason: to survive. Either by eating what they kill for food, or killing something that was trying to kill it.

So what are these people trying to prove? Do they feel better for killing another member of the stingray family? Most likely a stingray who was minding his/her own business, swimming in the ocean, looking for some lunch? Do these people call up their friends now and say, Crikey mate! I killed a stingray for Steve Irwin! and then their friends ooh and ahh over this? I don’t get them, and I don’t think they are getting the point.

Read an article on this here


The Answer is, of course, What is the Sula-wahi-wahi-wantinkah tribe of Ancient Persia?

Don’t you feel like Alex Trebek is faking it?

C’mon. You know how I feel. You feel the same way. He’s not any smarter than us and definately isn’t better looking. Yet everytime one of those gigantic braniacs on Jeopardy get the answer wrong, don’t you think you catch him smirking as he reads the answer, oh, scuze me, the question?

As if he would even get past the first round on Jeopardy. As if he has the tanakas to bet it all and let it ride in the daily double.

Don’t you think he should at least joke about it once in a while? Say the question was: It is the state that grows two thirds of the worlds eggplant.

And when he reads the question he could say something like:
“The correct response is “What is New Jersey?”. Wow, good old New Jersey. Who knew?”

And then he shaved his moustache too. What was that all about? And why didn’t we mind as much as when Tom Selleck did it?

Points to ponder, mes amis. Points to ponder.


When it’s okay to talk to yourself.

So, I have an hour long commute (both ways) and find myself bored and in my car alot. Sometimes the radio people really annoy me, so I turn it off. Trying to stay awake for my drive, I’ve tried several different things. Sometimes I wonder what the driver next to me is thinking. See, I talk to myself in the car. Alot. Now, I do have some good (okay, mediocre) reasons for doing this. They are:
1. I am currently working on a book. Sometimes in the car, I work on dialogue, carrying on both sides of the conversation. This helps me figure out if stuff sounds good. There’s a difference between dialogue looking good on paper and dialogue actually representing how people speak.
2. I am learning Greek. I will be taking Greek classes at the university starting in October. I wanted to get a head start, so I downloaded some podcasts. Occasionally, I’m supposed to repeat what was said. Sometimes I do pretty well. Sometimes I mumble. But hey, I’m trying.
3. I’m working on a problem. Used to be, when I was working on my math degree, I would logic out math problems. Saying them out loud helped. Currently, I’ve transitioned this to working out any sort of problem aloud.
4. Sometimes I’m just talking to stay awake.

So, if you are driving next to me in the morning, go ahead, smirk. It’s okay. I really am talking to myself.


I hate to break it to you… But you’re not that important.

Okay, all you cell phone/blackberry/text messaging freaks out there. Let’s face reality. Unless you hold the key to world peace or global domination, you are not as important as you seem to think you are. You do not need to be accessible 24-7. There is no need to take your cell phone with you into the bathroom and talk while you pee (yes, someone in my office building was actually doing this). Anyone who needs to talk to you can do so after you are finished using the facilities. You don’t need to leave your cell phone on at all hours in case someone calls. You don’t need to be yakking away on your way to work, even if you are working. That’s why you go to work in the first place. They can wait 20 minutes. And if you are sitting there screaming at me right now, ‘But I am that important,’ Honey, you’re not.

If you are screaming at me, ‘But my boss needs to reach me,’ Honey, neither you, nor your boss is that important.

There are of course select times when you do need to have your cell phone on at all times and you need to be available. If none of these applies to you, you need to re-evaluate your place in the food chain, take stock of yourself, and figure out why it is that you think you are the centre of the universe.

Case 1 – You or your spouse is 9 months pregnant – always a good reason to keep in touch
Case 2 – Someone is dying – Whether it’s a member of your family, or a friend’s, this is a good time to be available 24-7. I speak from experience
Case 3 – You are the president of the universe
Case 4 – You are God

If none of the above applies to you, get the frak off the phone.


Gimme an ‘M’!! – Scrapworthy moment. . .

Those of you who know me, know I scrap. The latest thing I wanted to try was scrapping a letter, so natch, I chose my first initial M (no my name really isn’t Squirrelly Girly – it’s Margarita – true story!).

Here is my latest achievement! Next, I will try to catch up with the scrapping fads and do a lunch box.