Monthly Archives: June 2014

The Plot Thickens….

I’m in plotting mode right now for Book 3 of my Covencraft Series. I admit, I’ve been resting a big on my laurels [such as they are] since I completed the first draft of Book 2 – Counter Hex in December. The Counter-Hex had to go through edits and I wrote about 8000 more words and then edits again. And more edits. GOD THE EDITING. And then I was just happy to be done and decided to take a break!

The problem with doing nothing is it’s hard to tell when you’re done!

I’ve been futzing around with a fanfic as well that’s at 40000 words and NEEDS TO BE FINISHED.

So! LE PLAN!

I’m off on vacation for just under a week and the goals are:

1. 5000 words on the fanfic [More would be GREAT but 5000 is a very realistic goal for me and I can attain that]

2. Plot out the first half of book 3, tentatively titled Double-Sided Witch. I have my ideas but the problem is when they live in my brain they are swirly and round, like clouds and I need to write them out linearly to ensure everything makes sense and sadly, I think once I do that, I may have to get rid of my gorgon idea. IDK, we’ll see. There may still be room for a gorgon. I also have a scene in my brain that I tried to put in Trial by Fire [and I couldn’t fit it in] and I tried to put it in Counter Hex [and I couldn’t fit it in] and it’s already down on my notes for Double-Sided Witch. aaaaaand I’m starting to think it won’t fit in there either BUT DAMMIT. I WANT IT.

For reals, yo. If I never manage to get this scene in one of these books, I’m just going to write it anyway and toss it up on the blog. CONTINUITY BE DAMNED

3. Get a solid 5000 words out on book 3.

 

So! Goal for the week is 10000 words, so that means I have to write ~2000 words a day while I’m away which is doable. I also want to get some reading in and the kindle is all loaded up!

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Because you can’t have two betta fish

Betta fish are those colorful, swirly, VICIOUS BASTARDS that will fight each other to the death.

Look at that glorious bastard

Look at that glorious bastard

Often as I’m working, I will think about cloning myself [I SWEAR TO GOD I am going somewhere with this – bear with me]- I’m the type of person that likes to be busy, I like to solve problems, I like to help and I hate to tell people I can’t do something. This often means that no matter what I job I do, I end up doing several related tasks that aren’t actually my job, but that I end up being really good at or that no one figured out yet.

But, it makes me CRAZY BUSY sometimes and things get dropped.

So, ergo my cloning thoughts. If I could clone me, problem solved!

But I ended up realizing that if there WERE Two Margarita’s, we’d end up fighting. Like Betta fish – each one wanting to be top dog! Butting our noses against the glass trying to get at one another in a fight to the DEATH.

Or rather, each one wanting to sleep in and snuggle the puppies while the other schlepp went off to work. [No, you’re going in today. I’m staying home. NO, YOU’RE GOING IN TODAY.]

And then we’d both feel guilty and end up both going in and resent one another while each believing it’s the other one’s turn to make coffee and who is also responsible for not putting the good eye shadow brush back in the right spot.

Plus, I’d be really uncomfortable around other!Me. She would know all my secrets. And she’d be as secretly mean as I am.

So, I guess it’s best that Margarita’s are like Betta Fish – better in singles than in pairs.

 

Cake or Death? Being all out of cake

If you’re an Eddie Izzard fan, you know what I mean when I say Cake or Death

WELL, WE’RE ALL OUT OF CAKE.

I’ve got death on the mind lately. Which normally for me usually means something morbid and creepy is churning up in my brain for my fictional writing, but this time, I really just mean death. Like everyday-ironically-a-big-part-of-life death.

Things No One Told Me About Death

1. When you’ve been touched by Death [i.e. when someone close to you dies] other people are uncomfortable around you. I think it’s because they want to say something to make it better and there’s nothing to make it better. But also because it makes them realize Death can touch them too and that’s something we don’t like to think about it. and then you feel weird, because they feel weird. It’s a big cloud of weirdness around you.

2.It’s mostly a tragedy only to you. Most people’s lives go on the next day or the next week or the next month. But you’re kind of stuck dealing with it for a lot longer. You stare at things trying to figure out how it’s all working when you’re not.

3. People still get awkward when you talk about the dead person. In my case, I felt like people were awkward or uncomfortable when I talked about my dad for about a six months after he died. Like, just because he died he didn’t become less a part of my life, you know? But it was like when I would say something like, “Well, my dad used to say…” or “Yeah, my dad owned a restaurant for a lot of years…” or “Dad liked getting lotto tickets and socks for presents….” people would almost pause, like a deer in the headlights. I think it’s because they were having an internal monologue of “OH SHIT, SHE’S TALKING ABOUT HER DEAD DAD. DO I SAY I’M SORRY AGAIN? DO I ASK HER HOW SHE IS? DO I EVEN MENTION THAT I KNOW HE’S DEAD?” – I felt like they really wanted to say something nice or helpful and they just weren’t sure if they should and that made them feel weird.

4. Minutiae is eternal. The phone still rings and the car needs gas and you get a salad dressing stain on your favorite shirt and how can this all be happening when you have experienced this kind of a loss? When Donna’s mum died, I was the awkward one. She was talking to me on the phone and I remember thinking, “How can she just be TALKING to me right after her mum died?” and then 8 months later, my dad died and I told her about that moment and how now, I got it. You just go on and there’s stuff to do. She nodded and said, “Yeah. There is.” But I didn’t get it until that moment.

5. For something you think about a lot, it can still surprise you. Once, about two years after my dad died, I was at the office working. I can’t remember exactly what happened but Chantal and I had just come back from a break or lunch or something and Jessi said, “Oh, you’re dad called for you.” and I was like “Oh really? I wonder what he – what a minute, my dad is dead.” and I realized that Jessi was talking to Chantal. But for that moment, I forgot. I also have seen a man once or twice that looks like my dad and again, for that moment, I’m like “HEY DAD!!!” and then I realize it can’t be him.

6. Okay, I don’t know if this happens to everyone, but my mum and I had “OH SHIT HE WASN’T REALLY DEAD” dreams. Mum would realize in her dream that dad wasn’t really dead and DAMMIT how would she explain that she sold his car? Maybe because of the stuff I read and write, mine were a bit more graphic. I would full on dream we made a mistake and buried him alive and now we had to go dig him up and JESUS how did we FUCK THAT UP SO BADLY. And it would be a dream that I would have several times, with several variations and in the dream, I’d remember the other times it had happened and I’d just feel SICK and wonder how we kept getting this so horrifically wrong.

I’m sure there are other things that I didn’t know about Death. I’m sure I’ll find out more [unfortunately], but those are the things that have been on my mind lately.

Luckily, Riding a bike is just like Riding a bike!

I signed up for a sprint triathlon that runs Sept 6.

IKR? LIKE WHAT WAS I THINKING.

Consequently, I need to get in shape. Heidi invited me biking this weekend. Heidi is also the EVIL MASTERMIND behind signing up for the sprint triathlon.

She is petite, but mighty.

So, I managed to stuff my bike into my Honda Civic and meet Heidi for a ride. In the five years I’ve had that car, it’s the first time I’ve ever had to put a bike in it. Which means I’ve not taken my bike ANYWHERE. Riding or otherwise.

Luckily, riding a bike is like riding a bike – despite the LENGTHY TIME it has been since I was last on one, I picked it up quickly enough! A few rough spots where I was a little wobbly, a few times my chain and gears locked up [my bike needs to be serviced] but I did it!

Heidi took it pretty easy on me, just biking around Didsbury. Although there were a few times that I was thinking “OH MY GOD, HOW CAN THIS BE UPHILL?? IT DOESN’T LOOK UPHILL AND YET I’M GIVIN’ HER ALL SHE’S GOT, CAPTAIN!”

Heidi was able to keep up the conversation while I only managed some breathless, “Yeahs,” “Uh-huhs” and “No, no, I’m okay! I always look red like this and all sweaty SWEET MOTHER I ALMOST GOT A BUG IN MY MOUTH”

What can I say? I’m not very outdoorsy!

But the seal has been broken and I hope to get the bike out more!

yanno, as soon as my butt stops hurting from this ride!

It’s that Time of Year Again….

Father’s Day ads popping up all over.

Le Sigh.

I mean, it’s not like I don’t think of Dad at other times of the year – his birthday, Christmas,  or just random times throughout the year [usually right after Jenge has done something very dad-like]. But Father’s day still kind of sticks out. And it’s not like we really celebrated it hugely when he was alive, but after he died, it really became not so much Father’s Day as HEY HERE IS A BIG DAY  DEDICATED TO YOU NOTICING YOUR DAD IS DEAD.

Only they don’t make a card that says that.

I guess I get the most bummed out on how much I feel like he missed. Or rather, how much I’ve missed not having him here. I do believe in an afterlife and I have this notion that he’s kept up with us all, but I feel bummed out and cheated on behalf of ME not getting to have him around.