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Getting back into the gym

Okay, so yesterday was my first morning spin class in a LOOOOOOONG time.

Good test of my READY FOR THE GYM system. Too bad the system failed. Although I was able to make it through!

  1. I forgot my towel – but, luckily the gym had one I could use. And the ladies at Hot Shop are all GEMS and so nice, that I don’t get scared to ask.
  2. I forgot work socks – but luckily had an extra pair of gym socks that I could wear to work and then change into a pair of shoes I keep at work that need NO SOCKS to wear indoors.
  3. Was missing face cream – again, a bummer, but not a deal breaker
  4. Was missing makeup brushes – used my fingers, still looked okay
  5. No time to dry hair – but managed something work-able [no pun intended]

So this weekend’s ‘goal’ is to CORRECTLY pack gym bag! and to actually have two separate ones. One for workouts BEFORE work and one for workouts AFTER. Workouts after work need clothes. Maybe spin shoes. Workouts before work need an entire trolley of products and items to get me into ‘ready for work’ state that must be finely managed.

Both need a waterbottle.

Easy goal for the weekend and it will make me happier with myself!

Side note – it’s been so long since spin classes, that I’ve lost my ‘butt callus’ – my butt is killing me from the seat after one class. Guess I have to build that up again!

 

 

 

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Cleaning out my Junk Drawers

Internets. How you been?

I started going regularly again to the gym 4th and then on the 11th signed up for the 30 in 30 challenge [30 classes in 30 days – spin and/or yoga]. I’m about as flexible as a steel pipe, so the yoga is a struggle for me, but I realized it’s a struggle because I NEED it and OH WHY CAN’T IT BE EASY?

This morning I either had a breakthrough or a breakdown. Still not sure which.

My hips are TIGHT and I don’t mean that in a -ph- phat kind of way, [Yo, that shit is TIGHT, y’all!]. I mean that in an industrial strength elastic that has no give kind of way. So all hip openers, hamstring stretches and just general leg flexibility movements are tough. This morning, I found the hot yoga room extra hot [I don’t like the heat, but I do find the stretching easier and I like my gym which is a HOT YOGA and spin place, soooooooo hot yoga it is.]. When it’s that hot, I feel like there’s no oxygen in the air. I’m breathing but there’s nothing actually getting in my lungs. Sometimes, it makes me start to panic a little. But, I could handle that. But then, everything was HARD this morning. Downward dog was hard, child’s pose kind of hurt, side plank was impossible and don’t even ask about standing splits. It’s so far from the splits, I’m pretty sure you can’t even tell what pose I’m trying to do. Plus, a friend just lost her dog and I feel for her so much. Of course it makes me think more of Portia and how I never really had a good cry after she died because I was SO BUSY and every time I felt a cry coming on, I was at work or at the grocery store or at the yoga studio or on the C-Train. and then when I was finally home and COULD CRY, I was exhausted and went to bed.

And my hips HURT this morning. Not HURT like “Geez you need to stop this before you bust one of these hips”, but hurt like “Oh god, if I try to get out of this lunge, I don’t know if this hip joint will hold me! I’m going to fall over!” way.

So I’m there and it’s hot and I’m tired and it hurts and then I feel like I might throw up and then I just wanted to CRY. But I felt torn – should I just cry? my two sisters were in the room and the yoga teacher is a GEM and a SWEETHEART so, I could have had support. But, I’m a solitary crier and people around me when I cry makes me uncomfortable, so I probably would’ve just preferred to start crying and then leave and get in the shower. But then again, if I started crying, that’s going to make an awful start of the day and my eyes will be all red and puffy…

IDK. they say your hips are the emotional junk drawer of the body and maybe I’ve finally done enough yoga to start cleaning them out.

Luckily, Riding a bike is just like Riding a bike!

I signed up for a sprint triathlon that runs Sept 6.

IKR? LIKE WHAT WAS I THINKING.

Consequently, I need to get in shape. Heidi invited me biking this weekend. Heidi is also the EVIL MASTERMIND behind signing up for the sprint triathlon.

She is petite, but mighty.

So, I managed to stuff my bike into my Honda Civic and meet Heidi for a ride. In the five years I’ve had that car, it’s the first time I’ve ever had to put a bike in it. Which means I’ve not taken my bike ANYWHERE. Riding or otherwise.

Luckily, riding a bike is like riding a bike – despite the LENGTHY TIME it has been since I was last on one, I picked it up quickly enough! A few rough spots where I was a little wobbly, a few times my chain and gears locked up [my bike needs to be serviced] but I did it!

Heidi took it pretty easy on me, just biking around Didsbury. Although there were a few times that I was thinking “OH MY GOD, HOW CAN THIS BE UPHILL?? IT DOESN’T LOOK UPHILL AND YET I’M GIVIN’ HER ALL SHE’S GOT, CAPTAIN!”

Heidi was able to keep up the conversation while I only managed some breathless, “Yeahs,” “Uh-huhs” and “No, no, I’m okay! I always look red like this and all sweaty SWEET MOTHER I ALMOST GOT A BUG IN MY MOUTH”

What can I say? I’m not very outdoorsy!

But the seal has been broken and I hope to get the bike out more!

yanno, as soon as my butt stops hurting from this ride!

Weighty Issues

Internets, I try to be positive but sometimes, I just need a good rant. There’s gonna be language below. STRONG OPINIONS. Those with delicate sensibilities should avert their eyes.

Let’s talk about weight.

I’m overweight. Chubby. You could even say the f-word – Fat. I’ve struggled with my weight my entire life. Consequently, I know a metric fuck ton about weight loss and calories and metabolisms and working out.

Let’s face it: if you want to know about weight and how it all works, don’t ask a thin person – someone who’s been fit their whole life. Ask a fat person. I GUARANTEE the fat person will know more. You can disagree, you’d be wrong.

This week my FAT BUTTONS got pushed when I was speaking with someone about weight and this person proceed to spout off that all people needed to do was burn as many calories as they ate. This person said that he/she burned ‘at least 5000 calories a day’ by moving and so could I if I chose.

CLEARLY THIS PERSON DID NOT KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT WEIGHT LOSS. After talking more it turned out that they also never really liked sweets and always preferred vegetables anyway.

So yeah. KNOWS NOTHING. perhaps is lucky by nature to be the kind of eater that promotes a healthy weight, but in terms of knowledge, isn’t knowledgeable. But! Because they are slender, they are seen as ‘an expert.’

So, what would I, a 37 year old woman who weights BLAH BLAH BLAH [sweet Jesus you didn’t think I would put my weight down did you??] have to do a day to burn 5000 calories? According to my research [google I love you] SEVERAL HOURS OF EXERCISE. So, if I had say, 5 hrs to kill and an elliptical trainer and I went ALL  OUT for those FIVE HOURS, I could expect to burn 3500 calories. ALL OUT FOR FIVE HOURS ON AN ELLIPTICAL TRAINER.

You let me know if you have that kind of time and I want your day job.

Now! Let’s talk about LIES THE WEIGHT LOSS WORLD HAS TOLD ME AND OR USELESS ‘TIPS’ in every mag out there:

1. Are you feeling hungry? Drink water! You may just actually be thirsty! – I drink 2 litres of water a day. I’m pretty sure I’m fucking hungry. So hungry I feel sick. And the more water I drink  the MORE NOTHING ABOUT THAT CHANGES.

2. Eat some veggies if you’re hungry! – I did. I was hungry 20 minutes later. You fuckers. And my tummy hurts because raw veg are tough on me, but I don’t carry a steamer around to blanch them a bit so if I want to eat veg on the go, it’s raw or bust.

3. Make sure you get protein at every meal! – listen, I have the BEST diet of people I know. I’ve seen a nutritionist to help me ensure that I’m getting all I need. I’m still hungry like a MOFO 70% of the day.

4. Eat every few hours to keep your metabolism going – I DO. Still hungry folks.

5. Cut out those sugary drinks! Full of empty calories – I DID. WHEN I WAS 17. TWENTY YEARS AGO.

6. GET MORE SLEEP – Uh, listen. there’s a limited number of hours in the day and I already go to bed at 11 and get up at 5.45 REGULARLY. I’m pretty strict with my sleep schedule. I’m not sure where I’m supposed to fit MORE SLEEP in.

7. LIFT WEIGHTS – I  DO.

8. I’M JUST RANDOMLY CAPSLOCKING NOW BECAUSE TALKING ABOUT WEIGHT ALWAYS MAKES ME ANGRY

9. Throw that scale out! – Everyone I know that has done this GAINS weight. It’s the WORST advice out there. I don’t need to get rid of the scale, I need to manage my reaction to it. Getting rid of a scale is like…. Telling me to get rid of my hammer because I don’t like hammering nails, but then telling me the nails still have to be hammered in. You’ve pretty much just crippled my ability to do anything. and now I feel worse about it.

10. After a couple weeks, you’ll find working out is a habit you just don’t want to break – LIARS! I did a bootcamp for TWO YEARS [LOVED My trainer and my fellow work out people], I worked out with a personal trainer [Liked my trainer, saw results] for a YEAR – I still don’t like it. It’s STILL a struggle to do. I’m just not a person who enjoys working out. I’ve found stuff I like to do as far as exercise goes [dancing, ballet, cardio aerobics] but I still have to grit my teeth to get started. EVERY TIME. I don’t like it. And let me state for the record, that I really did have the BEST bootcamp trainer out there. Her name was Michelle. SHE WAS AWESOME. She worked us HARD but she was SO GREAT About it. I never had a fitness person motivate me positively before while still getting me to work as hard as I could, but she did. So it wasn’t that I had a bad experience. I loved Michelle! She was great! I still don’t like working out.

The whole weight thing always makes me want to just… stomp around and yell and hit things. It’s one of the few things in my life that makes me angry, upset, irrational, anxious, embarrassed and self-righteous all at once. I’ve been fighting my weight since I was 9 [that I can remember] and I’ll be fighting it until I die. It’s exhausting. I don’t even know how to wrap this post up. I wish I had some silver-lining advice or zen-like realization that I’ve come to. All I know is it’s all-consuming and if I didn’t have to worry/agonize over my weight, I feel like so much of my brain would be freed up to work on other things.

 

 

[Taps mic] This thing on?

Sooooooooo, been a while. At least under this blog. I’ve been lurking on LJ and tumblr [under another name] for a while but I thought it was time to dust off ye olde real life blog and get back in the swing of things.

 

So! What’s going on? Well, I’ve started this new work out program and it’s going pretty well. I’ve been doing the Tracey Anderson Hipcentric workout – just the cardio. It’s like old school 1980s dance aerobics – a lot of jumping and bouncing around. It’s really fun and I find it mentally challenging [since coordination is an issue for me, as in I LACK IT] but man. My body is getting old.

As one co-worker and I joked, this warranty is expired. Should’ve gotten the extended.

It took about two months for the shin spints and the bursitis [YES YOU HEARD ME] to taper off and the arches of my feet are still working on compensating for all the jumping around. When I get up in the morning, I’m still not sure which way to limp. But it’s better. I just don’t want to quit because I finally found something I really like, and the treadmill is no longer an option for me [whole other issue again with the warranty being shot on this body].

So I’ve been sticking to it, managing 4-5 times a week. It’s made a BIG improvement in my cardio and I’m getting the fit feeling back.