Hitting the Wall

Yup. I’ve hit the wall. Maybe not THE wall, but A wall. Definitely some kind of wall-ish object. I’m tired before I even get to bootcamp, and when I get there, I’m even more so. I push myself, but my heart just isn’t in it. At least not these past couple of weeks. and when you’re heart’s not in it, it’s tough to get up those stairs/hills/park benches. Last Friday was the first time I really felt it. We were doing hills. We go up, we go down. The idea is you “rest” while you are running downhill. but you are still running. and on my fourth time up the hill, Michelle, my trainer, was chasing me, telling me to keep going, go harder, faster, more! and suddenly, I just stopped.

Thunk.

Plain old stopped. She said I could catch my breath and as I stood there gasping I said, “What I really want is to cry. I’m TIRED.”

She nodded sympathetically. Said maybe that’s what I needed. But I still had to run up that hill. And I did. three more times.

Yesterday, it was full body workout. Up and over the park benches, tricep dips, pushups, run, sprint, jump, burpees. And all I could think was, “Stop. Just stop.” But I kept going.
Today, was stairs. and as I run, I’m getting out of breath faster and it takes longer to get it back. Four times up and down the stairs, then twice running out to the ridge and back. And then up and down again. I go up, I go down.

Three months of bootcamp has caught up to my psyche. I never thought of myself as an athlete. I started feeling like an athlete, but now I’m having second thoughts. Intellectually, I know I’m in a lot better shape. Prolly more so than I have ever been. Yet the scale has not budged. And that weighs on me. No pun intended.

I tell myself, that if I can just push through 4 more bootcamps, I get a whole week off until the next session. Four more bootcamps. Four more hours. It doesn’t sound so bad when you say it like that, but when you’re on the third of four sets of stairs, and you’re gasping for air, or sucking wind as we call it….. sigh.

4 more!

We Did It!
Jenge and I promised ourselves a few years ago that we would run the CIBC run for the Cure. But every year when it came around, we were still walking. Last year, I didn’t even go, I was too dissapointed in myself for not being able to run it.

But this year was the year! Going to bootcamp 3 times a week since June put us in good cardiovascular shape. Jenge was even sick today, all stuffed up, sinus-y and headache-y and she still ran the whole thing!

We met up with fellow Bootcampers Natalie, Rhonda and Trina, and we all ran the entire 5km. We had great weather for it, cool, but sunny.

As always, the run for the cure is a great event. It’s so heartwarming to see all the survivors in their pink shirts, and all the family and friends of people touched by cancer out to support their loved ones. People who live in the neighboorhood come out on their steps to watch us run by, some even decorate their lawn. And there are tons of volunteers handing out water or cheering you on during the race, and handing out apples and bagels at the end.

We didn’t bring the puppies as we really wanted to focus on running, but because of all the bootcamps I’ve done, I still had enough energy when I came home to take the puppies for a 4k walk AND go out and get groceries!

A Sign!

After Dad passed away, one of Jenge’s friends got us a Hope for Humanity bush. I planted it smack dab in the middle of my garden in the back yard. It had beautiful, bright red roses. The next year, I was worried it wouldn’t come back, but it did. It got so big that I thought it might take over my whole garden. But this year…. well, I nervously watched it all spring. Nothing. I went out and started clipping branches. Dead. Dead and dry. No hope. But unlike the other rose bushes that didn’t make it, I didn’t have the heart to pull it out. I yanked the other rose bush, but I couldn’t bring myself to pull out the Dad Plant. Everytime I would go out and weed my garden, I would trim a few more branches and hope that one of them wouldn’t be dry and dead. but there was nothing…..

And then a few weeks ago, I saw it. Growing out from underneath the dead branches was green! I tried not to be hopeful. Surely, after all spring, all summer of nothing, it wasn’t going to start up again in late August for crying out loud. It was probably just weeds. So I watched it. Secretly from the window. Out of the corner of my eye when I went to the garden. I didn’t even touch the new green.

Finally I took a close look. It was back! All the dead branches were still dead, but this was brand new growth, from the roots, I guess. I actually touched the leaves. And I told Jenge, “The Dad plant is back!”

And she said, “Hey! Remember what the psychic told me?” I said, No, cuz frankly, I didn’t. She saw the psychic almost two years ago – right after Dad died. Jenge continued….

“The psychic told me there was gonna be a plant or flower that represents your dad and you’ll think it will have died, but in the fall, it will bloom again, and that will be a message from your dad that he’s okay.”

True story.

Who will save you?

Here’s the situation…. Something freakishly paranormal happens to you. Who do you chose to investigate and solve the case?

• Mulder and Scully – Work well together, are licensed to carry guns, Want to find the truth. Plus they generally get the job done unless it involves Cigarette Smoking Man in which case you are screwed.
• Sam and Dean Winchester – Oh so pretty to look at, but they are not so much in it for the “truth/curing the ails of the world” as they are in it for the “My dad used to do this/my girlfriend was killed by the paranormal so I have huge emotional baggage and must continue this line of work” motive. But as I said, oh so pretty to look at.
• Peter Bishop, Walter Bishop and Olivia what’s her name from Fringe – hmm. Too new to tell if I want them on the job. I mean, they are getting the job done, but Peter is also carrying a whack of personal baggage and so may not be that into helping me.
• The Scooby Doo gang – Generally get the job done while looking good. Plus added bonus of Scooby Snacks. and it’s fun to say “Jinkies!” like Velma. Daphne could give you hair and clothing tips. You could just ask Fred if he’s gay.
• Torchwood – Well, they get the job done, and Jack’s pretty cute, but you’d have to watch Tosh pine over Owen. And Jack would be okay with killing you if that’s what it took to stop the paranomal event from happening and save all of Cardiff.

IMHO, I’m going for Mulder and Scully.

I know I don’t post very often. As president of Secret Doggie Council, it is hard to find the time to post, but I do try. I’m posting today for a very special reason. I know many of you get very excited when you see me out on my jog, either with my Mummy Jennifer, or my surrogate, Mummy Margarita. While I’ve always tried to make myself an available president, I must ask that you respect my walkies and don’t address me at this time. You see…

I LOVE MY RUNS. I GO CRAZY FOR THEM. I CAN’T HELP MYSELF. AND I DON’T WANT TO BE INTERRUPTED BY OTHER DOGS OR GOD FORBID CHILDREN WHO WANT TO TOUCH ME AND THEN EXCLAIM “HE SO SOFT!”

Please. Restrain yourself. Yes, I am that soft. Yes, my billy-goat’s-gruff is like buttah. Yes, my ears are that perky and tender. But I am BUSY. I CANNOT STOP TO CHAT.

I look forward to seeing you all at the next Secret Doggie Council Meeting.

The President.

Cuz it makes me laugh….

Another list
It’s week 6 of my second round of bootcamp. Last Friday, I ran for 35 minutes without stopping. Today I ran to the stairs, went up and down them twice, and still was able to run back to the beginning.

We start our third round of bootcamp on Monday. Here’s what I have learned over the last two sessions:

1. You can go farther than you think you can.
2. You might not want to go farther. Sometimes you just want to stop. But you can shut up and do it anyway.
3. to get better, you always have to push yourself. And that’s uncomfortable most of the time.
4. It is worth it to get better. But man, somedays, it’s really hard to remember that.
5. The last five minutes is when it counts the most.
6. Some days, it’s just gonna suck. But that’s okay, because…..
7. Some days, you really feel great about yourself! And the world! and the person next to you! and… okay, you get the idea.
8. Sometimes, ice cream really is worth it.
9. Good running shoes really do make a difference.
10. no one at bootcamp cares what you look like while you are working out.

10 Things I love

In an effort to be [slightly] less negative, I thought I would counter the last post of 10 random things I hated with 10 random things I love. Once again, not a comprehensive list, nor the best of the best. Just a random list
10. A really good stretch after bootcamp. Feels so good!
9. Heinz Ketchup
8. Waking up and realizing I still have tons of time left to sleep. Or that it’s saturday!
7. Running my hands under hot water when my fingers are cold.
6. new lipsmackers. Preferably purchased in a party pack of 10.
5. Crave Cupcakes.
4. The smell of fresh laundry
3. being smack dab in the middle of a really good book – I’m invested in the characters and there’s still a whole lot of book left for me to enjoy.
2. new socks
1. how I feel after I’ve filled up on gasoline. I hate actually going to the gas station, but I feel so good about myself when I have a full tank of gas!

10 Things I Hate
Let’s be frank. I could make a list of gazillion things that I hate. I’d never be done. There would always be something new annoying me to add to the list. These are by no means the ten things I hate the most. These are just what are currently on my mind. In no particular order:

10. The women in my office building who use a paper towel to open the bathroom door and then toss that paper towel on the floor. Honestly. were you raised in a barn? it’s SO RUDE.
9. The Jonas Brothers. WTF? Where did you come from and why are you so popular?
8. Flaky Mascara – Sigh. I’ve tried so many and I never get the definition and curliness that I want without the flaky. If I get flake free, then it’s not as define-y.
7. Unexpected, early season re-runs of my favourite tv shows – you know what happens. You sit down 4 episodes into one of your fave shows and they show you a re-run! and it’s OCTOBER. But they do this to save episodes which leads me to my next point…
6. Television season are 22 episodes long. Again, WTF? That’s not even HALF THE YEAR. Get to work, you slobs.
5. Personal Bubble Space Invaders – these are the people that invade my personal bubble. Granted, I have a large bubble, but c’mon, there’s no need to be that close.
4. when radio stations play the same artits more than twice in a day – I listen to the radio at work for 8 hrs a day. Are you saying you can’t find enough differnet people in that time to fill the void?
3. When I make a pot of coffee and then discover there is no cream. Tragic.
2. The back door to my office building – this lock is so picky and tempermental, every morning, I’m CONVINCED they have changed the locks on me.
1. Kid sized shopping carts at the grocery store and the parents that let their kids drive them, – okay, technically that’s two things, but they go hand in hand. There is no reason your child has to be ‘entertained’ at the store. If you have raised them well, they will be good. If you haven’t, it’s your fault, not theirs, and why am I paying for it?