Is Life Passing Me By?

So I was a little busy last week with some committments I made and other do das [Hello, lawn mower, nemisis of mine! It was time to dust you off for the summer!]. I find myself wondering in my race to get everything done, is life passing me by? I’m a hermit by nature, preferring to stay in and hang out with myself than go out and be surrounded by people. I like to read, scrapbook and knit. The latest thing I’m trying is running, but these are all solitary things. And there’s my crux. I like to be alone. Now, people who know me generally know me as a chatty cathy, making jokes, telling stories, but I crave alone time like nothing else. But in my quest to find some quiet time for me, am I missing out?

It’s not like I would want to be out dancing the night away. I don’t sit at home wishing that the phone would ring. Generally when the phone does ring, I’m glad when it turns out to be a telemarketer I can avoid. I’m happiest when I go shopping and no sales people ask to help me. If I could order my coffee by passing a note to the barista, I would. But since I feel the need to be polite, I will smile, start a conversation. I fear that if I didn’t, people would mistake my shyness for rudeness.

But when I hear my friends talk about new stuff they do, or nights out on the town, I wonder, am I in the passenger seat of life? I went to a wedding with my dad on Saturday night [Mum’s out of town so dad needed a date] and I’m always surprised at how different from my dad I am. He’s Mr. Social Butterfly, circling the room, saying hi to people, catching up with other folks I don’t even know. But they all know him. He couldn’t leave until he made one last circle of the room to make sure he didn’t miss anyone. I myself, thought I saw someone I knew but didn’t go over to talk to them: to shy and to afraid they would not remember me. Not so my dad. He sat there the whole night surrounded by his fishing buddies and drumming up conversations with new people.

So I fear that my affinity for being by myself is causing me to miss out on stuff. But at the same time, I’m not sure I’m willing to sacrifice my alone time to get out there. I don’t even think I would enjoy it that much if I did. But how do you know when time alone is too much? Or is it ever? Hmmmmmm


Leave a reply