Murder! Murder most foul! (well, is there any other kind?)
Okay, so I live with my sister (and no, I didn’t murder her! Although sometimes I think we’ve both had dasterdly thoughts about it!) but the thing is, when you live with your sister, if something scary happens, it’s just the two of you to deal with it.
So Portia and Rocky like to have the freedom to roam about so in the summertime we leave the screen door open so they can come and go as they please (this is also because Portia has learned how to open the screen door and will swipe it off it’s hinges if she finds it closed). But sometimes, due to our ‘open door’ policy we get bugs. Big bugs. Starship Trooper sized bugs.
Yesterday we had a bee and a wasp at the same time and they were HUGE!! Size of my hand! (okay, so I’m exaggerating, but they were the size of nickles, honest!) I was FREAKED OUT! But what can I do? Call for Jenge? Nope, she’s worse than me. So I had to resort to a trick I learned from my mum. Get the vaccuum and suck the freaks up.
But then I don’t want them to fly back out the vaccuum cleaner!! (Shut it! It could TOTALLY happen!) With our old one, this wasn’t a problem. Stuff it with a paper towel and in a few days, ditch the bag. But this new vaccuum is bagless!! So I took the cannister out and tied it in a garbage bag, knowing I’d have to empty it at some point but a girl can only take so much!! Hopefully they would die shortly and all would be well.
And then last evening, all evening long, there was the incessant sound of pissed off buzzing from the bag. It was absolutely nerve-wracking. I couldn’t think of anything else! Bzzz bzzz bzzz. The sound of a bee and a wasp planning my demise! But hey, I didn’t go into their house! Now some my argue that the entire earth is their house, but unless they pay property tax, I disagree.
But now, I am a murderer! Or Murderess as the case may be. I must admit, I do feel kinda guilty. It’s must be a horrible way to die. Trapped in a dark dusty bag, surrounded by dog fur. Shudder! I’ve got guilt! Out damn spot, out! And the kicker is I really need to vaccuum before Heidi shows up for the weekend but I’m too chicken to face the bag and ditch the bodies. I keep thinking I hear the buzzing!
This is exactly why I would make a lousy serial killer!!