Wake up and smell the anti-reality!

Yes, I watch soap operas, and yes I enjoy them greatly. I love the crazy plot lines, the over the top dialogue and that one great holy grail of it all – soap opera hair! Where else can you see coma patients that look better than you do after an hour of trying to do your hair and makeup? Where else do women wear fashionable short sleeves and tank tops in the middle of winter with outrageous high heels? You couldn’t even get into your car with those heels but they wear them to catch serial killers.

So what’s my beef? Well, on All My Children, recently, Erica Kane found out that the pregnancy she terminated in the 70’s was not terminated. Her embryo was transplanted to another woman and she has a son she never knew about! The Scandal! The Outrage! The fabulous hair tosses!

But the soap opera community is in an UPROAR. When Erica had her abortion in the 70’s it was even more taboo than it is today. And she had it because she wanted to be a STAR! And she didn’t want to be saddled with a kid! She had dreams!! Ambitions!! And the soap opera fans are complaining because:
1. This apparently takes away from her Womens’ lib choice
2. This procedure is not even medically possible
3. TPTB (The Powers that BE) have decided to rewrite history!

Ummmm.. . . Did y’all forget that you are watching a soap? Just off the top of my head, here are some things that the soap opera fans have not been in uproar about in the past. . . (from a bunch of different shows)
1. People who have come back from the dead or presumed-dead: AMC – Tad, Dixie, Zach Slater(although we didn’t know him when he was dead, lol), Miranda. ATWT – Holden, James Stenbeck, Paul. GH- Luke, Laura, Lucky, Stavros Cassidine, Helena Cassidine, Carly. OLTL – Todd, Nikki Smith, Cristian, Mitch Lawrence, Victor Lord, Margaret Cochrane. B and B – Taylor (TWICE!!). DAYS – Don’t even get me started!!
2. People who have been kidnapped/held hostage/terrorized more than once: AMC – Greenlee, Kendall, Lily, Dixie, Little Adam, Bianca, Miranda, Babe, Brooke, Krystal, Adam, Opal. ATWT – At last count I believe Lily had been kidnapped at least 7 times! OLTL – Nora, Natalie, Evangeline, Marcie, Blair. GH- Carly
3. People who had dramatic face lifts, came back to town and no one recognized them: AMC – Janet Green/Dillon. OLTL – Todd Manning. DAYS – John Black/Roman Brady.
4. Had a doppleganger or secret twin: DAYS – Marlena/Samantha, Marlena/Hattie and Bo/Evil Bo., Kristen DiMera/Susan Blake/Sister Mary/Penelope (Yes there were FOUR of them!). OLTL: Bo and Faux Bo (I kid you not! That’s what he was called!), Colin/Troy. ATWT: Lily/Rose. Sunset Beach – Derek/Ben. Santa Barbara – Robert/Quinn. GH – Connor/Nicolas, Lorenzo/Luis. YR – Katherine Chandler/Poor Waitress. AMC – Maggie/Frankie, Stuart/Adam, Anna Devane/Alex Devane. Passions – Grace/Faith
5. Had Amnesia (Curable or Not): GH – Jason Quartermaine. ATWT – Holden Snyder. B and B – Stephanie Forrester. AMC – Tad Martin. DAYS – John Black, Marlena. OLTL – Cristian Vega. Passions – Grace.
6. Slept with someone and later found out they may/maynot be related to you (through DNA): Passions – Chad and Whitney (so far, they are half siblings – ew!). Y and R – Cole and Victoria (verdict – Not related). ATWT – Holden and Lily (verdict – related by marriage and adoption, not by DNA). GH – Lucky and Liz (verdict – related by marriage, not DNA). OLTL – Tina and David (not related, but they still did the deed when they thought they were!).
7. Slept with someone who later turns out is married to/involved with a relative (or slept with someone you knew was married to/involved with a relative): GH – Sam and Sonny. OLTL – Lindsay and Bo. Days – Sami, Austin, Lucas, Carrie. Y and R – Cole, Victoria, Nikki. AMC – Tad the Cad Martin, Liza, Marian. Kendall, Zach, Ethan, Michael.

I could go on and on. . . .
Don’t panic, I don’t watch all these
soaps, but I do keep up to date with my Soap Opera Digest 😉

Clearly, we are not dealing with reality here, people!! If they have to bend the rules of space, time and physics so that I can be mindlessly entertained for an hour (or so), I’m okay with that!! Why aren’t you??


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