Craft is Whack!!

Yes, it’s true, I am a craft junkie. It came as quite a surprise to me. I started out flipping through Ann’s stuff and then she leaned over one day and said, “Maybe you should stamp. You could make your own cards.”

Hmmm, my own cards. So I bought some stamps from Stampin’ Up (Ann had a friend, Shelley, who sold Stampin up).

Soon, I was churning out my own Christmas cards. Card after card of shimmery trees and happy hedgehogs, all with a personalized touch.

And then Ann leaned over one day and said, “You should try scrapbooking.”

Hmmm. Scrapbooking. I didn’t have any scrapworthy photos, I thought. But there was the Come as You Aren’t Party and that was a good photo op. I would scrapbook that.

And then I started scrapbooking Portia. Who, quite frankly, is very photogenic.

A couple of months ago, Jengie wanted in on arts and crafts too, so she decided to take up knitting.

Hmmm. Knitting. I could make a scarf!!

Jenge jettisoned it after a week, I am happily knitting away. And I just bought a book to teach me how to crochet.

I’m a CRAFT HO!!

This last couple of months, here is what my chequing account had to say to me:
Latest purchase of stamps – $150.00
Latest purchase of paper – $80.00
Yarn to make cape – $24.00
Yarn because it was 30% off – $25.00
Specialty yarn bought online along with bamboo needles and pattern – $90.00 USD
Yarn because it was pretty and fun to touch – $30.00

It starts off with people lending you stuff, kinda like – Hey the first hit is free! Now, Ann and Shelley is are my dealers. We meet secretely and speak in code: Have you seen the new Basic Grey? I just got Urban Couture, and there’s a coupon this week! If you go to Technique Tuesday, you can get acrylics. Scrapshotz is having a sale on MM!! I’m almost out of Crystal Glaze, and pop ups.

I joined an online knitting group and they are feeding my yarn fetish. Yarn stores online I never knew about!! Patterns for things I didn’t even know you could make!! They too have a code: DK, Alpaca, Mohair, Yarn Over, Chunky weight.

The craft world is the seedy underbelly of suburbia. Women meeting in out of the way coffee shops to show off their treasures and gab about life. You lie about how much you spend, you lie that the stuff you bought was on sale, you tell your non-crafty friends that it’s really an investment, because you’ll have it for years. You spend the day thinking about what you will do when you get home. Will it be knitting? Crochet? Scrapping? Stamping? You jones all day long for your next fix!! You go on weekend benders with the girls to ranches in the middle of no where to scrap (yes, such places exist and you have to book ahead 10 months, they are so busy! – But if you need the number – call me!). You proudly parade your creations in front of anyone who will listen (and even those who won’t) all the while knowing that while they may appreciate the effort, they do not feel the certain je ne sais quoi about it that you do. They don’t realize that this is the last time you can use Basic Grey Black Tie because it has been discontinued, or that your yarn was a steel considering it’s mohair.

Sniff. The life of a junkie. No one but your enablers understands you!!


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