Celebrity or High Profile Whack-job??

I just found out that Matthew McConaughey doesn’t wear deodorant. WTF? I already knew that Tom Cruise was certifiably nutty (honestly – he was SOOOOOO much better when he kept his mouth shut). Mariah Carey has a bi-annual breakdown, Lindsy Lohan has one weekly, and Paris Hilton is famous for. . . what a minute, what exaclty is Paris Hilton famous for?

In light of all this I’m forced to ask myself, what comes first? Are you an A-1 class nutcase who dreams of acting and having alot of money, or do you start of relatively normal with borderline psychotic problems (like the rest of us) and then you get drunk with the power!! The fame!! The money!! The fact that no one tells you no!!

Seriously, don’t these people have family or a best friend to pull them aside and slap them across the face and tell them to snap out of it? If I ever started acting kooky (okay – more kooky, I’m pretty squirelly as it is, hence the name of my blog) my best friend would sit me down, tilt her head sympathetically, look me straight in the eyes and tell me “Margarita, you’re fraking crazy! Wake up and smell the medication cart!!”

And if I didn’t listen to her, she would lock me in my house until I agreed to get serious help. But these celebrites!! I don’t get it! If this were the REAL WORLD you would be fired, you would find it impossible to get a good job with your tendanceis to throw Diva Hissy fits and scream at the top of your lungs that you are just suffering from exhaustion. Normal people don’t get hospitalized for exhaustion. We wake up the next day and go to work no matter how exhausted we are because the alternative is stay in bed, piss and moan about it and then default on our mortgages. Not pleasant. And what are celebrites exhausted from?? Sounds like a cake walk to me. Do a little schmoozing, show up at some parties, someone does your hair for you, shops for you cooks for you, dresses you, it’s like being 5 yrs old all over again only you have GADS of money!! The rest of us are working our *&&@# off trying to stay ahead of the tax man and Visa and make sure there is enough kibble in the pantry to feed the dog. Exhaustion!! I scoff at thee!! I have no time to be tired, no time to be sick! I say we fire all our current celebrities (keeping a select few because frankly they are too good looking to sack) and get new celebrities. I’ll hold auditions for new celebrities and the only requirement is you have to pass a psych exam. The following will not be accepted:

  • Narcissism
  • Pessimism
  • Martyrdom
  • Egocentrics
  • Religious Cult Leaders
  • Delusions of Grandeur
  • Paranoia
  • Crack addicts
  • Mean people

Good idea, no?


One comment on “

  1. Heidi

    Girly you surely are squirrelly, but keep it up, because I am enjoying it!

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