Responds well to authority

If I were to be analyzed by a shrink, one of the things that would be on my chart (other than: paranoid- self-doubting egocentric) would be: Responds well to authority. I’ve always had this thing: I must follow the rules! I have to obey! If you are in any sort of position of authority (doctor, police officer, dentist, nail-tech) I will do whatever you tell me.

Case in point: I fear going to my nail tech. I love Amanda dearly and no one does a set of nails like her, but I’m scared everytime I go when I have to show her what I’ve done to her artwork over the last three weeks. She knows I am a habitual filer so she forgives me, but I hate having to turn my hands over to her knowing that the jagged edge on the index, or the raging hangnail on the thumb are all courtesy of me (except I tell Amanda that Evil Margarita did it. Damn Evil Margarita! I’m always apologizing for that bee-yatch!)

Case 2: Going to the hairdress with massive split ends and bad roots. I feel like I must explain that yes, I use the curing iron and flat iron all the time, and no, I didn’t deep condition and yes, I use drugstore shampoo (at this point there is generally a disgusted snort tossed my way).

Same thing at the dentist. I cringe when they say I need to floss more and focus on my gums. I’m a bad flosser! I confess! I’ll talk! I’ll tell you all about the 5 consecutive years I made a new year’s resolution to floss every day! Just turn the hot lights off!

So, it’s true. I’m a yes-man. Or yes-woman as the case may be. I can’t help it! 1. I was raised catholic (stand up and feel guilty – just for old times sake!) and 2. I’m a people pleaser. I want everyone to be happy. And if they’re not, we’ll it’s generally my fault and I feel guilty about it. If I had been the main character in Orwell’s 1984, all they would have had to say was, “Do you see 5 lights?” and I would have said, “Do you want me to see 5 lights?” Book over.


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