Self-Declared Martyrdom


What’s with my generation? [BTW, I consider anyone from the ages of 25-40 to be in my generation. . . we’re the kids of MTV, Atari and Hair Bands]. Have you noticed how everyone wants to be the martyr? You know what I’m talking about. They are the people who always have a bad day, bad job, bad kids, bad husband, bad pets, aching back, aching head, troublesome inlaws, and black sheep family members. No one suffers like them! Yet they tarry on bravely! [So they tell you]. Suffering in not-so-silent silence.

Think carefully and I’m sure you have a self-declared martyr in your social circle. Now, think even more carefully. When was the last time this person was fun? If ever?

What self-declared martyrs don’t get are a couple of things I’m going to point out:
1. You are buzz-kills. You are the wet paper bags of the social scene. Hanging out with you is akin to going to work. I know I should, but I’d rather be shopping.
2. Everyone [with the selection of a tiny minority – of which you are not a member] has it as ‘rough’ as you. We all have to do stuff we don’t wanna do. We all get headaches, we all get sick, we all have days where we want to stay in our pyjamas and pretend that the bills will just magically disappear. Who is this select minority who does have it rougher than you? Well, off the top of my head: Low income single mothers who are working three jobs just to buy bread, people who were tragically injured by drunk drivers, people who have ALS, children trapped by abusive parents . . . the list goes on. Think about how silly you sound compared to that!
3. You cannot crown yourself anything, martyr being the least of them. Let’s take a quick look at two people who crowned themselves: Micheal Jackson – self crowned King of Pop – you don’t want to end up like that. Napoleon Bonaparte – self crowned emperor of France – exiled.
4. Martyrs are only martyrs after they are killed for what they believe in. In order for you to be a martyr, I would have to kill you.
5. Do I want to be supportive to you? Yes. Do I want every bad thing that happened to me to get trumped by something worse that happened to you? No.

Don’t get me wrong, I know that life can be crappy and I’m not saying you don’t have the right to beeyatch. But let’s get a little perspective here! It can’t be that bad! And the other people in your life need some sympathy too!

If you think you may be a self-declared martyr here’s my solution: Find five minutes for youself [STOP IT! You can so find five minutes! Don’t give me that martyr crap that you are too busy! You had time to read this!] . . .where was I? Oh, yes. Five minutes. If it is sunny and not too windy [as I hate the wind] go outside and stand in the sun, with your eyes closed and feel how nice it is. Breathe deep. And sigh. Mmmmm toasty warm! If it is windy or not sunny, pour yourself a cup of coffee/cup of tea/glass of water and look out the window and think how lucky you are to be inside on a yucky day with your hot cup of coffee/hot cup of tea/water that is safe to drink from the tap – or – water you had enough money to buy bottled. Breathe deep. Sigh. Safe as houses.

Leave martyrdom to the likes of third world human rights activists who are trapped in a country that will kill them for speaking their mind. They deserve it more than you.

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2 comments on “

  1. Heidi

    Here, here! Although I think you are far to kind. There isn’t a year that goes by when I don’t drop a ‘friend’ because of this sort of thing, being fairweather, or just plain selfish. The funny part is that people in these categories rarely know they are tettering on the age of losing a friendship, mostly becasue they are too self-absorbed. To quote Tim McGraw, I want a friend that a friend would like to have. If all you got is poison and all you can think about is yourself, guess why you haven’t heard from me lately. Not that most would notice in between the moaning.

    Well said!

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