You guys.

YOU GUYS.

Ugh. I have had a number of root canals over the years. I try to take care of my teeth, but this is just the way they are. I don’t remember how many i’ve actually had, but I just had another and it was the THIRD ONE where the freezing wouldn’t take all the way.  Jesus take the wheel.

I’m no tough girl when it comes to pain. If something hurts, I want it to stop. And tooth pain? *shudder* THE WORST. Any kind of nerve pain brings me to my knees.

All that to say, I’ve had a lot of therapy in my life due to my mental issues, and that shit comes in handy. I’m able to breathe, self-talk and work my way through stuff. And also, I don’t blame the dental personnel for the problem. They are tryign to help me, and don’t want to hurt me, but may have to in order to make me feel better. My options were:

1: Wait another half hour for the freezing. At that point, it had been two hours and I’m like, BRO (YOUNG BRO – so YOUNG!! omg, I’m older than all my dentists now), half an hour ain’t gonna help.

2: Send me home with more antibiotics and hope they help whatever is happening and I can come back and it will work. Oh, young dentist. Bless your heart. You don’t realize this is my third go-round with freezing that won’t work.

Option 3 – just go in, do the work and hope for the best.

At that point it had been two hours of trying to freeze me and about 8-12 needles to the mouth. I lost count. I saw no other option than 3 – let’s GET ‘ER DONE. I said, I don’t think this will get better. I think option 3 sucks, but we gotta do it. and then it will get better. (me internally crying.).

This dude was trying so hard to be positive, but he knew it woudl suck too. He tried to give me a pep talk before he started. He was like, “Okay, so we’re going to go in and hopefully this will be…..”

He trailed off and I could tell he was coming up blank, not sure how to reassure me for something he knew would hurt and be unpleasant.

“QUICK,” I blurted. “THE WORD YOU’RE LOOKING FOR IS QUICK.”

He  gave me a nervous smile and said, “Yes. I hope this will be quick.”

He was – they were all super nice to me and efficient and though it was hella unpleasant, they did good work.

I *think* I’m on the mend now. My lower jaw is pretty fucking unhappy with me and sore, but BETTER. I CAN THINK NOW. I CAN PROCESS INFORMATION.

For those of you that struggle with chronic pain – you are far stronger and tougher people than I am. I pray for and salute you.