And my degree is not in basket weaving or acrylic paints. It’s in something smarty mcsmarty pants – Math. So I’m not a slouch in the brains department. So WHY is it so hard to change my headlights?

I went out into the garage at 5 o’clock. I had 2 burned out headlights and one burned out signal light. [oh shut up, like you’re so perfect. So the left headlight has been dodgy for WEEKS but I thought it was part of my overall electrical problem. and when the left turn signal went, I thought, well hell, the lights on the left side of the car have always been dodgy and did I really need that turn signal? I would get around to it. But then my right headlight went. And I live in Calgary and it gets dark at, like, 4:30, so unless I wanted to leave for work at 9 and then leave for home at 3, I had to change them.]

I had to come back inside to get my socket wrench set. yes, I have one and it’s beautiful. I inherited it from Dad. Actually, I inherited all my tools except for my new screwdriver, which is also beautiful. My socket set has all the socket sizes you will ever need. Two wrenches and adapters. but it’s not organized because I got it from Dad. And he was not the most organized with his tools. I also got two tool boxes from him and I keep meaning to get around to organizing them, but I guess I inherited more from him than just his nose.

So, long story longer, AN HOUR LATER I’ve finally changed the headlights. I had to remove 4 bolts from each side, and then turn the light “one sixth of a turn counter clockwise.” No Joke. one sixth. and then I had to shimmy it and jiggle it until the light sprung free and then PRY it off the clip and then jam the new one on and my hands aren’t strong enough to snap it into place so I had to put gloves on so I could brace the lamp against the car and push down really hard.

I also need to replace the windsheild wipers but I’ve saving that until I get all the car grease out from underneath my gel nails.

And my story doesn’t even compare to the time my bro in law came over to help Jenge change her headlamp. I told Jenge she could do it, but little did I know that her cars design requires you to REMOVE PART OF THE ENGINE to get to the headlight. Luckily my bro in law has the tools and the knowledge to do this, but the simple act of changing a headlight took him 3 hours and left a scar on his hand.

My million dollar idea is to put the headlights in an assembly that doesn’t bolt shut. It locks. And it takes the SAME key that starts your engine. So when you need to change any of your lights, you simply pop your hood, or trunk, turn your car key in the assembly and it pops open and then you pull the burned out bulb out [which has turned black so you know it’s for sure burned out and not just loose] and you snap the new one back in and then hit the handy “Test” button that the manufacturers have also installed so you don’t have to jam the light in, hope it’s attached, jog to the driver door get in and start the car to see if your new lights work.

Next car repair, the aforementioned windsheild wipers. I can’t see out the passenger side, which really doesn’t bother me all that much. but now, I can barely see out the drivers side. I’ll keep you posted.

Posted in: car.
Last Modified: January 16, 2009

One comment on “I have a degree, you know

  1. Anonymous

    I hear ya. My rear turn signal went a few months ago right before I had to drive to Edmonton in winter weather for a conference. Had to have it changed. Checked the manual, went to Canadian Tire, bought the bulb. Went home to change it and it was dark by then (it was past four o’clock!). Thought “How hard can it be?!?”
    Freaking hard!!
    Two hours, two scrapes, a nail and four bolts later, I couldn’t get the last one off.
    Had to call my dad. Drove over there and he scoffed.
    Took him another 45 minutes to get the last one off! Also he used two tools that I do not own (I pointed this out….apparently it’s like the good drill – I’m not ready yet.)
    Seriously, why does it have to be so difficult?? It’s not like they’re keeping state secrets in there or anything!
    P.S. – My ego was seriously bruised that I needed help to change a damned lightbulb.

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